An irresistible personality can be developed over time. Your appearance or packaging makes for eye appeal. The content or heart qualities make for the buy appeal.
Good appearance comprises dressing neatly and appropriately; clean and well groomed. Your appearance constitutes the first impression. Your content or heart qualities constitute a lasting impression. When you take up the optimistic view you take up the holistic view of life
PERSONALITY POWER 19: TONE OF VOICE
“Every person who develops an attractive personality must study his own voice and place it under control so he can make it convey any feeling he desires”.
Your tone of voice, eyes, facial expression, and your carriage are the expression of the impressions in your heart. These may be faked for a while but will be leaked out eventually.
Your tone of voice either tunes in people to be attracted to you or tunes out people away from you.
The frequency with which your thoughts and feelings flow determines the tone of your voice. Consequently, your thoughts and feelings must be in a positive flow or frequency for your tone of voice to be appealing rather than appalling.
The tone of your voice must be kept under control to express or dramatize the intended meaning and convey the appropriate message to others. The spoken word expresses your inner world. And whenever you speak you are unveiling your inner world of thoughts and feelings.
- Speak with conviction and distinctly.
An agreeable and expressive voice as well as good diction are highly prized in the business world. Moderation should be the undertone of your tone of voice.
- Let your voice express love, encouragement, sympathy, comfort, and firmness of the principles you stand for as you walk your talk and talk your way up with a pleasing tone of voice.
PERSONALITY POWER 20: EXCELLENT PREPARATION FOR PEAK PERFORMANCE
SUCCESS EQUATION: Preparation + Opportunity Positive Mental Attitude = Peak Performance.
Preparation positions you to succeed. When preparation and opportunity meet with multiplied positive mental attitude which is the quality of mental attitude you bring to bear in preparing for and seizing the opportunity, will result in peak performance.
Abraham Lincoln reveals, “I shall study and prepare myself and someday my chance will come”. The level of preparation corresponds to the degree or quality of performance. Opportunity is recognized and maximized by those who invest quality time engaging in high-level preparation.
When you maximize preparation time you minimize execution time. Preparation means maximized time – the right use of today that ushers the entrance to a successful tomorrow. Preparation should be an ongoing process and not a one-time event. Preparation should be a lifestyle.
PERSONALITY POWER 21: MODERATION/TEMPERANCE
Moderation is ruling oneself with discipline and thereby gaining freedom from indulgence. Every wish, feeling, desire, passion, or want must be brought in subjection to temperance which is the key to freedom leading to happiness.
PERSONALITY POWER 22: CONTROLLED EMOTIONS
Nothing repels like uncontrolled anger which is displayed in a loosed tongue that tears apart rather than builds people up. Are you generally even-tempered? No one wants to be around someone who is quick-tempered, neither does anyone want to have dealings with someone who is filled up with jealousy, hatred, and envy, revenge and malice, greed, superstition, and distrust.
These negative emotions breed enemies and scare away friends. Hence, it repels success. If we are plagued with any of these negative emotions we can turn to God for help by meditating and filling our minds with the truth embedded in the Bible and asking God to help us overcome our negative emotions with positive emotions.
One of the gateways to failure is a lack of controlled sexual urges. This single weakness has ruined the lives of many; dethroning emperors and kings and breeds decadence in a personality.
In this “microwave” world, the marriage institution is abused because of unbridled passion. Homes are destroyed because of the same. Our youths engage in this despicable and ignoble lifestyle. They tend to gravitate toward that which promises sensual pleasures without thinking of the hazardous consequences of their behavior.
Sexual impurity is cancerous and eats gradually but surely, destroying the core of one’s being and attracting a terrible curse on destiny. If we want to have a winning personality then purity in all its forms should be our watchword.
“Everybody else is doing it” is a loser’s mentality. We can’t attain true greatness and leave an enduring legacy behind when we act like everybody else.
A personality that attracts exhibits controlled and positive emotions and sidesteps negative emotions which builds and sustains relationships with others.
John Wooden counsels, “Don’t try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be.” Any new contribution to life necessitates a higher level and a whole new preparation. Preparation counts when attention is paid to small details which erases the big problems of life. An unprepared life is continually under repair.
There are essentially two kinds of preparation: mental preparation and physical preparation. This implies that mental action – thinking through precedes physical action – working through.
Before you engage your body in work, your mind must be put to work through accurate thinking and planning. For your actions to be effective, the consequences of the action must be weighed and considered before the action is implemented.
When your body (action) goes ahead of your mind (thinking), you meet with failure. Think through on paper before you move into a space of action. Get the necessary information you need from accurate and reliable sources so that your actions will not lead to deformation.
The level of preparation you engage in your season of insignificance will determine your launch into your season of significance. Champions are not made in the ring rather champions are made during their privacy of preparation time. The ring only showcases them to the world. Remember, private victories precede public victories.
PERSONALITY POWER 23: INTERESTING CONVERSATION/EFFECTIVE SPEECH
Whenever we engage in conversation we are selling ourselves; we are either selling ourselves up or we are selling ourselves down. We become interesting and fascinating conversationalists when we become interested in other people; when we shift our focus from self to others-talking about them and their interests the conversation becomes appealing to them and they will like you for it.
To be an interesting conversationalist your ability to listen with interest is vital. Listen attentively to the person talking without any inward and outward distraction and let it manifest in your facial expression and body language. Ask relevant questions from time to time when it is appropriate during the conversation, this shows that you have your heart in the conversation.
One of the traits of a pleasing personality that attracts people quickly is your ability to influence people with the power of your words. Your ability to speak effectively in front of people builds up confidence and endears people towards you. As a speaker, you need to have a thorough knowledge of the subject of interest and be able to convey your message with force and conviction.
Effective speakers employ dramatization and illustrations and their choice of words that are powerful but easily understood. Gestures should harmonize with the content of the speech. The facial expression should reflect the feeling behind the content of the message or thoughts conveyed in the right places.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU
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About the Author
Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.
She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.
At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars