Mental DietMental Diet


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If I had money…; if I could get a job…; if I had a good education…; if I had been born rich…; if my family understood me…; if I were younger…; if my talents were known…; if I hadn’t lost my money…; if I only had someone to help me…; if the boss only appreciated me…; if condition around me were so different…; if other people understood me…; if I could live my life over again…; if I hadn’t failed…; if I had been given a chance…; if I could marry the right person…; if I didn’t have a past…; if I could meet the right people…; if I only knew how…; and the voice trails off into silence.

Success responds to the individual who makes use of whatever tools life has handed over to him or her. Life always hands over to us something worthwhile that can make a difference in our lives. Life can never leave you with nothing. The problem lies when we do not recognize or we minimize the value of what life gives to us.

Most of us rather than focusing on what life has given to us, we focus on what we do not seem to have and we discard what we have. When we focus on what we can change, we gain control over our destinies and stand a chance of influencing what we do not have control over.

But when we focus on what we do not have control over, we lose our ability to effect a change and we become helpless in gaining control over our lives. As a result, we come up with a lot of “ifs” to excuse or abdicate us from responsibility. Excuses make a failure out of men but a commitment to succeed makes a champion out of men.

The road less traveled is the road of taking absolute responsibility for the outcome of our destiny. The road frequently traveled is the road with the inscription which says, “I am not responsible; it’s the problems in the environment; it’s the weaknesses of other people; it’s the circumstances over which I have no control. Therefore, it’s not my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it except there’s an external change I can’t take action”.

You cannot control or undo the past but you can shape your future and maximize the present; you cannot control people’s behavior toward you but you can control your behavior towards them; you may not control the economic policies in the country but you can create and manage your financial resources effectively; you cannot control the situational realities in your path but you can control your response on how to handle them; you can’t control people’s feelings and actions but you can control your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

If you can’t find opportunities, why not create one? Therefore, why not focus on the things you can control rather than on the things that are outside your power of control. Grow above blame, accusations, and criticism.

Focus on becoming the kind of person you need to be in order to attract the ideal life you want to lead. Happiness, success, and fulfillment come from the inside out and not from the outside in. Focus on character formation and on what you need to do to turn every aspect of your life around.


Therefore, “if” is baggage that needs to be dropped in your life’s journey. Knock out “if” and embrace “I choose to…” which connotes responsibility and you will gain altitude.  

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