Before an aircraft takes off some checks must be in place if not safety will be out of place. Every pilot is aware that pre-flight checks which comprise both external checks and internal checks must be done if not the lives of everyone on board the aircraft will be in line on death row. In fact, comprehensive checks must be carried out and the pilot doesn’t even think of bypassing the process or becoming insincere about it. And guess what? These checks are a long process.
It is of utmost importance to note the fact that the internal checks can be very extensive than the external checks and also the internal checks are done in privacy-the security of the cockpit. And that is a remarkable difference between external checks and internal checks.
It is a common inclination or behavior for people to do external checks to ensure that their public image and appearance are flawless in order to make their success journey seamless. And that can be cool if the self-image harmonizes with the public image. However, many people ignore or neglect the “man in the mirror” or the internal checks.
You see, you attract into your life what you really are and not what you do in public neither do you attract what you want unless what you want is in alignment with what you are. Life is an inside-out game and those who recognize this play the game of life to win.
To “dress up” for success on the outside without addressing the internal threats to fulfilling our destiny by conducting internal checks in your privacy is to collide with failure – financial failure, marital failure, parenting failure, career failure, business failure relationships failure, character failure, and destiny failure.
The process determines the quality and the height of progress in destiny. There are no quick fixes for an attitude that took 20, 30,40 years, or even more which has become a fixated pattern in the mind and runs on auto-pilot; if it took many years to build and maintain a habitual pattern of thought, feeling, and behavior, do we expect to break that pattern overnight using quick-fix techniques? Absolutely not!
Of course, we can’t right wrongs overnight to reach our “destination” however; we can change our direction overnight and be on our way. To change direction overnight entails changing our thoughts or mind. But to change our thoughts, we must recognize the root of negative or poor attitudes and when you are self-aware you become awake to make the changes required for a high-soaring destiny.
Do you make people feel small in order to look big? Do you pull people down in order to go up? Do you feel threatened and resent the success of others? Can you mentor or help people succeed maximally in their lives? Do you get excited and indulge in gossip and keep rumors alive by spreading them? Do you react when criticized especially when it is a constructive one?
Do you feel uncomfortable spending time alone by yourself? Or do you feel that you must always be actively doing something like watching TV etc or going somewhere or being around someone? Are you frequently loud, critical, vindictive, and overbearing? Do you flaunt immorality and abandon morality? Are you vulgar or profane in speech?
Do you place too much emphasis on material things and center your life on them; flashy cars, money, clothes, hairdo, makeup, and current fad? Do you suffer from approval addiction, going to the extreme to gain friends and acceptance? Do you do unreasonable things in order to “belong”? Do you lack the motivation to make something great of your life?
At the root of personality problems or bad attitudes is low self-esteem. And frictions in human relationships at all levels are caused by low self-esteem. In fact, the lower the self-esteem the greater the personality problems and the greater the friction in our relationships.
Ego is good and appropriate in itself and every human being was created with it; poor or rich, young or old, male or female, able or disabled, and whatever color and race. However, the ego must be in check and kept in check.
Checked ego breeds self-respect and is anchored on our inestimable intrinsic worth or value. But an unchecked ego breeds self-conceit based on the externalities of life and therein is the bane of many destinies.
Inferiority complex and superiority complex are all products of an unchecked ego. In fact, superiority complex is inferiority camouflaged and this breeds a negative or bad attitude. An egoist which is a product of an unchecked ego is full of self and empty of everything of eternal value.
Low self-esteem is caused by various factors which usually stems from childhood. Love-withheld or performance-based love is at the root of low self-esteem. Unconditional love towards self leads to self-acceptance and until you accept yourself you cannot change yourself.
And until you love yourself unconditionally and accept yourself you will be void of the ability to really love others unconditionally and accept them. An individual full of unconditional love becomes a force for good in the world and gains the ability to soar high to the peak of destiny.
The way to get unconditional is to know and recognize your inestimable intrinsic value as an individual made in the image of God and receive experientially God’s unconditional love and live in the consciousness of His unfailing love and presence within; this can revolutionize your life and make you a force for good in the world.
Remember, you cannot expect from anyone what only God can give and He alone can satisfy the longing of your heart and loves you unconditionally even when He knows everything about you.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU
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About the Author
Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.
She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.
At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars