DEBUNKING THE ILLUSIONS OF LIFE
Traveling through a desert for the first time you did see a pond of water on the highway. In fact, you did absolutely believe that you are seeing a pond of water. However, on getting up close to the spot you discover that the pond of water never exist – it was only a mirage.
Illusions are like mirages that can be seen for what they are when you get “there”. Howbeit, it may be too late when you get “there” as the damage had already been done and the consequences must be faced.
We must be mindful of the lens through which we see the world and also the world through which we see. The lens through which we see the world determines how we interpret what we see which establishes our beliefs and informs our actions and our actions form our destiny.
We either see the world through the lens of illusions or through the lens of reality and what we see shapes the outcome of our lives.
I’ll be happy when I get a …
True happiness is not a product of getting but a product of giving and serving.
Happiness is a mental condition rather than a material condition. Mental condition is determined by choices rather than chances. Happiness begins when you shift your focus from self to others; selfishness is the womb of unhappiness and selflessness is the domain of happiness.
I know, I know. You’ll be thinking, ‘if only I had x amount, I could fix the problem in my life. I think you’ll find money would throw up a lot more problems in its wake. Money will not make you happier, thinner, or more popular with decent people. Money does not deliver lasting, meaningful peace of mind. There are plenty of rich, fat, unhappy people with no real friends. I think we need to find the cure to our problems first and then find a way of funding that cure. Money isn’t, and never will be the cure. It is the oil that smoothes the wheels. It isn’t the engine.”
Ponder further on this, “Money and happiness are not necessarily the same thing. Money doesn’t buy happiness. This is a common mistake people make. You can be poor and happy. You can be rich and happy. You can also be either poor or rich and miserable.
If you are looking for wealth to make you happy, you’ll be disappointed. If you are looking for money to make you powerful/younger/sexier/more vital/more interesting/better looking/whatever, you are going to be disappointed. Sorry, but money doesn’t do any of that. In your head, it might. In other people’s heads, it might. But it doesn’t in reality. You can be all those things with money it is true. It isn’t money that does it. The switch is thrown in your head first. Money is a placebo, not a cure.”
- RICHARD TEMPLAR.
Aristotle reveals, “Only the good can be happy, and only the virtuous can be good.” The virtuous are those who habitually practice virtues – virtues that are linked to goodness. Brian Tracy rightly states, “To have a happy life, you must continually strive to become a better person.”
Happiness is the custodian of those who is sold out to cultivating virtues that purify the soul. Unhappiness is the fate of those who are slaves to their passion and impulses; chaining down their lives with vices that wreck their destinies. Happiness is attracted to those who seek edification in all things; unhappiness is the consequence of those who seek sensual gratification in all things.
Happiness is the reserve of those who have discovered and are pursuing their life’s purpose and are engaged in the work which they love. Unhappiness is the trap of those who lack the awareness of the meaning behind their life and are engaged in a job they dread. The nourishment for happiness is living to give; the parasite of unhappiness is living to get. Happiness is the freedom acquired by those who live to make a difference. Unhappiness is the bondage purchased by those who live to make a living.
The positive mind produces happiness while a negative mind produces unhappiness and it is determined by what you focus your thoughts on. When you live from your memory-negative and hurtful memories, unhappiness becomes your lot. However, when you live from your imagination, happiness becomes your ideal. When you have a positive perspective and outlook on life you will have a happy life attitude. Right thinking births happy living.
John Maxwell identifies Four Fundamental Human Needs:
- A sense of worth – If missing, we feel inferior.
- A sense of belonging – If missing, we feel insecure.
- A sense of purpose – If missing, we feel illegitimate.
- A sense of competence – If missing, we feel inadequate.
I hasten to add, that these four fundamental human needs are at the core of a life of happiness and true success or “emptiness” and misery.
It is important to note that no person or relationship, position, possession, or anything external can adequately satisfy or fulfill these basic human needs.
In fact, until you settle these basic needs within you, your motivations and actions will only sabotage your destiny and those of the people you influence. Rather than being happy, you will be “empty” and miserable within.
These four fundamental human needs can only be adequately met internally – within you and by your connection with God.
Another illusion is the belief that marriage brings happiness. However, marriage does not bring anything rather it is what both partners bring into the marriage that determines the strength and the quality of the marriage or marriage failure. John Hagee rightly states, “You carry happiness into marriage; you don’t find happiness in marriage.”
Your beliefs shape your mental state. Your belief system positions you for happiness or unhappiness. Happiness is a journey rather than a destination. When you believe that you are superior to every circumstance of life and that there is a lesson in every circumstance of life that you can learn and grow, you will live above the circumstances with your happiness still intact.
When you believe that every adversity has corresponding advantages you will always expect the best from life and your happiness will be in top gear. A harmonious relationship with God; self and people are the platforms where happiness is launched. See the humor side of life-laugh it out.
Happiness is a responsibility-Your responsibility. You are responsible for your emotional life. Nobody can make you feel unhappy without your consent and you will not surrender to them that power over your emotional life.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU
. . .
About the Author
Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.
She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.
At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars