MENTAL DIET: HOW TO DEVELOP AN IRRESISTIBLE PERSONALITY (PART 5)

“If you want to do something that will make an impact beyond your own life, then treat people better than they treat you, walk the extra mile, help people who can’t  help you, do right when it is natural to do wrong, and keep to your promises even when it hurts.”

• John Maxwell.
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Your habitual thinking ultimately becomes manifested in your character and personality. You become your habitual thoughts. Persistently think the thoughts that are consistent with the kind of person you would like to be.  A personality with a positive character imbues a magnetic aura which makes the personality an irresistible force

THE THREE CRITICAL QUESTIONS OF ALL HUMAN INTERACTIONS:

1. Do you care for me?

To genuinely care for people you must:

• Think Right Towards People

“Your thoughts have presence. They are like currents moving through the air. These thoughts are capable of drawing people towards you or driving people away from you.”

• Mike Murdock.

You will never be able to treat people right until you learn to think right toward people.

• PLACE A HIGH VALUE ON  PEOPLE:

Every human being wants to be valued for who they are even much more than what they can do.  Performance aside people are highly valuable and to know this is to know what really matters. How you treat people will determine how life will treat you.

The best companies or organizations to work for treat their employees as highly valuable, creating a flourishing environment and these companies or organizations are usually the most profitable. When people’s hearts are tended to you secure the best of them.

How you make people feel leaves an indelible impression on their minds. When you know that you are important without thinking that you are important, you will be able to shift your focus from yourself to thinking that another is important and when you think that another is important you will treat the person as important.  

At the core of every human heart is the desire to be loved and valued and meeting that need is at the heart of caring which makes your personality irresistible.

• APPRECIATE PEOPLE

Appreciating people appreciates the value they see in themselves. It raises their self-esteem and confidence and motivates them to do more. People need to be appreciated for what they can do. Give credit to whom it is due; don’t withhold the credit and don’t take the credit for the team’s success. Appreciate people for their efforts by praising them for work well done. Seize every opportunity to thank people. Openly praise people in the presence of others. Be in the habit of “catching” people doing right and appreciate them for it rather than looking for faults.

• BELIEVE THE BEST IN PEOPLE

“The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way you can make a man trustworthy is by trusting him, and the surest way you can make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.”

• Former U. S Secretary of State Henry L. Stimson.

When you believe the best in people they will behave their best towards you. When you are suspicious of people your relationship with them will be susceptible to failure.  However, never engage in a blind trust. When anyone gives you reason or proof to distrust them you have to believe it and stay clear or be cautious. It is important to note that lost trust can be regained by the individual’s consistent behavior or actions rather than just words. Actions count more than words both in creating and rebuilding trust.  

Simply put, believe the best in people and expect the best from people, and more often than not they will live up to your expectations or belief in them.

• RESPECT PEOPLE

“You can judge a person’s character by the way he treats people who can’t help him or hurt him”

• Anonymous.

Respect is an honor accorded first to self and then to others. Respect is honoring the dignity of a human being. It is recognizing the importance of each soul. It is honoring the self-worth of an individual.

To respect another is to put the Golden Rule into practice as the rule of engagement in all human interactions or dealings. The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is showing concern for people without contempt, fairness without partiality, and recognizing each individual’s contribution without downplaying any.

The little things sum up to become the great deals of life. When respect envelopes human relationships, trust develops.

• BE EMPATHETIC

Empathy is the ability to imagine and share another person’s feelings and experiences, and empathic listening is the core that releases understanding. Empathic listening is more a virtue of the heart than a skill or technique. Empathic listening is rooted in a genuine concern and interest in people; it mentally perceives another person’s worldview.

It is mentally putting yourself in another person’s place, so that you can really understand how one thinks, what one feels, the behavior of one in a particular situation, and one’s frame of reference. Empathic listening is listening with the intent to understand rather than reply. Understanding is based on character.

When you listen with empathy to people, it shows that you genuinely respect and value them. People desperately hunger to be respected and valued by others. Furthermore, empathic listening fosters even more communication, which builds strong relationships with people. Hence, your listening ability is the most vital asset in effective communication.

• BE INTERESTED IN PEOPLE

When you become genuinely interested in people, people will become interested in your idea, services, and product, and customer loyalty is built. When you are genuinely interested in people your personality becomes irresistible.