MENTAL DIET

WHO IS IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE? (PART 2)

‘All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you”

• WAYNE DYER

The Law of Control states, “You feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are in control of your own life, and you feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are not in control or that you are controlled by some external force or influence”.

The law of control is the summarized version of the “whys” behind the events or happenings in your life that shapes your response which determines the results you produce in life.

When you feel that you are in charge of your own life, positively influencing its direction then you have an internal sense of control; the stress of living fade away and your performance becomes elevated as well as the quality of your well-being.

 People with an internal sense of control look inward to trace the cause of the outward events of their lives. They take responsibility for the outcome of their lives; positive or negative.

This category of people perceive life as a “do it yourself project”. Their emotional life is not determined by the behavior of others. They do not depend on their spouse to change, the economy to change etc. for their lives to change. They believe that if their lives must change it’s up to them.

An external sense of control is when you feel that someone or something out there in the environment is running your life and that you are helpless in directing your life, attached with its attendant consequences of high stress and low performance.

An external sense of control pre-supposes that your life is determined by an external force such as Genetics-your DNA or inheritable tendencies. Another external force is that your upbringing; childhood experiences have shaped the way you are and the direction of your life and there is nothing you can do about it.

You may feel that your boss, spouse, teenage kid, economic situation or national policies, someone or something in your environment is in control of your own life. It is the abdicating of the responsibility of your life to someone or something in the environment. These categories of people feel victimized and helpless through life.

When we feel that our lives are being controlled by the behavior of others it implies that we have lost grip over our minds to negative emotions which require negative thoughts to fuel the negative feelings. Do you take ownership of your life?

The law of control determines the way you interpret and respond to the events or outcomes in your life. It is how you perceive the happenings in your life.

An internal sense of control-the explanatory style says, “I made it happen; good or bad; “I caused it; I am in control; I am responsible.”

External sense of control-the explanatory style suggests, “It’s never me; someone or something made it happened.” “You come through for me”; “You take care of me” “My life is assigned to you, so you must manage my life for me”; “You are responsible for me”

An external sense of control makes for powerlessness; you become “helpless” to gain the initiative and creativity to effect positive changes in your life. But you are never powerless. You are a powerful being, take responsibility and direct your life.