MENTAL DIET

DISSECTING FRICTION IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

The ability to get along with people is a pre-requisite to moving ahead in your success journey. The inability to get along with people cripples progress in life and it is a major setback in life. Lacking the ability to get along with people is courting failure in life. When there are frictions in human relationships, frustration evades life and unhappiness becomes the state of life.

 People’s problems are the overriding problems in human life; jobs are lost; opportunities missed; friendship turns sour; marriages fail; families become disintegrated; business dwindles; all because of people’s problems. The key to an improved life is improving your relationships with people.  

The ability to see the good in every person and in every situation; the ability to freely forgive people breeds the ability to get along with many different kinds of people with varied opinions, personalities, attitudes, and temperaments. And the higher and more positive your self-esteem, the greater will be your ability to get along with varied kinds of people. That implies the more secure you are, the more you can get along with people; the more insecure you are, the more your inability to get along with people. Insecurity or low self-esteem spells friction in human relationships. And insecurity is rooted in fear of some sort.

Every relationship friction has a fear undertone to it. The surface problem is not usually the actual problem. Suffice to add, it is only the symptom of a deeper problem.  Every external problem in relationships has an internal root within. The core problem in relationships is usually the cause of the problem and the cause of the problem is rooted in a core fear. The more you gain mastery over your core fear by engaging in a healthy reaction or response, the greater will be the harmony in your relationships. To master your core fear is to master the core problem in your relationships and to usher in satisfying and harmonious relationships.

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The relationship battle is not really with the other person but with our core fear and when we begin to wrestle and win the battle over our core fear, we have winning relationships with people. However, if we wrestle with the other person rather than our core fear, we lose the battle over our relationships with people.

Human relationship problems follow a cycle: the other person says or does something (consciously or subconsciously and at times with good intention) you feel hurt (you see the person as the cause of your problem), you want the person to cater for or solve your inner expectation or craving. Fear takes over because the other person does not meet your inner expectation or want but rather respond in ways that feeds your feelings of hurt and out of that fear you engage in an unhealthy reaction or response which flares up the reaction of the other person, as the other person also engages in an unhealthy reaction due to his or her inner fear too. I hasten to add, you tend to interpret the world around you and the actions or intent of others through the lens of your own inner pain or inward fear. Consequently, your inner pain or inward fear becomes the lens through which you use to view the world around you and respond to situations and people.  This cycle must be broken in order to break out into satisfying relationships with people.

Human relationship problems are always evidence in response or reaction to an inward fear due to an outward situation or behavior of another. And the discovery and understanding of the core or inward fear is the pathway to human conflict resolution that arises from the change in response which produces positive changes in relationships. When there is a root of the feeling of failure; feelings of being controlled by another; feelings of disconnection or loss of love; feelings of rejection etc. dependency thrives and with dependency or codependency results in dysfunctional relationships which make life defective. It is important to note that our inward wants can only be adequately and maximally be fulfilled by God; expecting people or anyone to fill up or adequately meet your inward wants is to meet with frustration and experience an unfulfilled life. You must be validated from within and live with the consciousness that God is the Source of everything that you will ever require to live maximally within and without; you become immersed in His Love, free from the bondage of the dependency on people or anyone.

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. . .

About the Author


author

Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.

She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.

At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars

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Mental Diet

THE MISCONCEPTIONS OF SUCCESS

“Success is defined in different ways. Some see it in money, power, and fame. But it’s also the concept of “reaching down”, of being able to help your fellow man. Material things you can buy and sell, but things like hope and courage and faith and knowledge are gifts you give your fellow man to pull him up. Whatever you give out to others will come back. It may take a while, but it will come back.”

-RICHARD CHAVEZ 

Success definition is founded on the priceless; inestimable, intangible heart qualities that create value and bestow benefits to lives and not in the mere accumulation of material things.

Success is probably the most sought after word in the world but yet only a few people tend to find it because the majority of the people do not understand it. Success is not a coveted privilege but rather it is a common heritage that binds us all. Invariably, success is for everyone. In fact, we were engineered to succeed from conception.

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Let’s unravel the marvel of your beginning. It was indeed a formidable battle as more than 400 million sperm cells raced through yet only one of them emerged the winner-the one that made you. The rest of them died. Each of the sperm was so tiny that in order to be visible to the human eye, it would have to be magnified thousands of times. This race of all time was to reach a precious egg containing a tiny nucleus smaller in size than a point of a needle. The head of the sperm, as well as the tiny nucleus of the egg, contained 23 chromosomes. Each chromosome was composed of jelly beads strung together. Each bead contained hundreds of genes which scientists attribute all the factor of hereditary from the size of your brain to the color of your eyes, to your mannerisms. Specifically, the chromosome in the sperm consisted of all the hereditary materials and tendencies contributed by your father and his ancestors, while those in the egg nucleus made up of the inheritable traits from your mother and her ancestors. When this one particular sperm, the fastest and the healthiest swarm and united with the egg, it formed one tiny living cell-You. You were the only one who survived that inconceivable ordeal. You were born for victory. From the inception of time to infinity of time, no one has ever been or will ever be like you. You are in a class of your own, one of a kind. You are irreplaceable and unrepeatable. You were born to be rich in good works and become an expression of excellence. You were born blessed with unlimited potentials and to be a blessing to others. You are a gift to the world.

Malthie Babcock reveals, “One of the common mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic, something or other which we do not possess.” Everything we will ever need to succeed is all wrapped up within us and the treasures wrapped up within attract the help we need without.  And to access these treasures within believing is the key.  The start-up of success is believing-believing in your originality. Your originality is the key to authenticity. Believing is the prelude to receiving all the treasures that life has to offer. The end-up of success in self-doubt. Self-doubt is the key to self-depreciation. Doubt and fear are excellent couples that produce an offspring called failure. You don’t need to feel successful to be successful. Success is not a feeling rather it is truth revealed of your essence. You don’t need to feel confident to be confident rather you act confidently and your feelings will soon be in alignment. Along the same vein, success is acting on the laws governing success from the state of your being rather than from a state of feeling. That means you don’t need to consult your feelings to confirm if you are a success rather you seek the laws governing success and act on them irrespective of how you feel. Success is not an event; it’s a person, a life-long journey. A failure is an event; it’s not a person, it’s a learning process. Success and failure both share a parallel root. Both are incidental rather than accidental. You don’t stumble into success. You can’t find yourself on the peak of Mount Everest when you were strolling in the park. Success is governed by laws. Success is a process-it’s a series of incidental occurrences. Failure is not accidental; it is a violation of the laws of success. It is a process; it’s a series of incidental occurrences. Therefore, success is attracted to those who plan, prepare and are persistent in their pursuit.

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THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU

Timeless Gem

. . .

About the Author


author

Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.

She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.

At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars

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