You have been designed to have relationships with others. You are made to have satisfying, strong, respectful, nurturing and exciting relationships with other people.

The strength of character will determine the quality of relationships with people. Developing self-mastery and self-discipline are the prerequisites for enduring relationships. In addition, self-knowledge is the gateway to self-acceptance and self-acceptance is the doorway to a relationship that is based on respect; value; and unconditional love. And integrity governs all succeeding relationships. It’s what we are rather than what we do and say that breeds trust in our relationships with people, and trust is the candle that lights the pathway to fulfilling relationships. If people can feel confident in what we are, then what we do and say, which are functions of what we are are, will be respected and valued.  

Whenever there are relational frictions or problems, self-esteem lurks within and locks the individual to the blame game. And as long as it is always the other person’s fault, relationships will always remain faulty producing disappointing, painful, strained, distant and frustrating experiences.  Your relational pain with others mirrors your own pain. Insecure feelings about you ignite emotional hurt when another person says or does something that triggers the subconscious belief about yourself.


Individuals with low self-esteem easily take offense and they often experience relationship friction with others. How you see yourself determines your response to the words and behavior of others. Becoming easily offended by others and harboring offenses in the mind is a reflection of defective self-esteem which is rooted in fear.

You must always recognize your own responsibility in a relationship crisis or friction in order to recognize the solution which is always a change within in order to change your actions and create the desired relationship experience.  



Timeless Gem

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About the Author


Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog:, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.

She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.

At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars