YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR WELL-BEING (PART 10)
FORGIVE ENDLESSLY-LOVE DEEPLY
“We will never know the depth of love until we learn how to forgive endlessly.”
I will re-iterate the law of forgiveness once again, “The law of forgiveness states that you are mentally healthy to the exact degree to which you can freely forgive and forget offenses against you.” That implies gaining spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical freedom; forgiveness is a necessity.
Forgiveness is an act of our free will rather than an act of our feelings; we act our way into forgiveness rather than feel our way into forgiveness. Therefore, forgiveness is a choice we make; it is an intentional; on-purpose response to offenses or hurt rather than an automatic response.
When anger, resentment, bitterness, shame, grief, regret, guilt, hate, and jealousy lurk within the recesses of the heart, the inability to forgive others seethes at the root of these toxic emotions.
The inability to forgive is the trap of the soul that keeps people in bondage from maximizing destiny. Failing to forgive attracts headaches, heart attacks, cancer, strokes, and other diseases.
Forgiveness is relinquishing your right to retaliate or get even for a suffered wrong or a fancied wrong. Forgiveness is a free gift offered on an unconditional platter to people or the person who has hurt or offended us. Forgiveness implies that they may not deserve it, they may not even apologize to us, yet we choose to forgive; “I feel you owe me but I choose to cancel the debt”.
We cannot deny or hide the fact that they have hurt us deeply yet we choose to forgive; they may have to face justice, yet we choose to forgive. Forgiveness is choosing to let go of the offending person, the hurtful situation, and memories into God’s hands and holding onto God’s grace to soothe and heal our emotional wounds.
Our ability to forgive readily and freely hinges on our capacity to look beyond what was done, to perceive the reason why it was done. This paves the way for understanding and breeds mercy towards the offender. When you rehearse hurts and offenses you erect a stronghold in your mind that limits your growth. Let it go so you can grow.
Let go of the offense; let go of the fault. Until you set people free from their debts, you will function in a dysfunctional state. Set people free from their debts and you will set yourself free from prison. When we pardon people we pave the way for our advancement in life. Revenge only reverses life’s blessings from flowing to us.
Forgiveness is a matter of the heart rather than from our head. Forgiveness goes beyond words, you may say with your mouth and from the head, “I forgive you” but forgiveness will never take place until you release the offender and situation from your heart.
Forgiveness is made easy when the Holy Spirit forgives through us. When we release the offender and situation into God’s hands, He will bring justice into our lives. Rehearsing offenses in our minds reinforces resentment and bitterness. To truly forgive, the desire to forgive must be in place.
If you want to get over an offense or hurt get over thinking and talking about it. If you are set to completely forgive get over talking negatively about your offender and get to bless him or her; get to look for something positive about the person and speak well of the person or if you can’t find anything positive about the person then say nothing.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean uniting or reconciling with the offender. In fact, in some cases, the healthy and wise thing to do is to let go of both the offender and the relationship.
Forgiveness cleanses the emotional wound paving way for the healing process.
THE HEALING PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness has two aspects:
- The negative things we have done to ourselves and others
- The negative things others have done to us.
RECEIVING GOD’S FORGIVENESS
Until you have received God’s forgiveness you will be unable to give out forgiveness to others. Everyone needs God’s mercies and forgiveness. God loves us unconditionally and forgives us each time we confess and repent of our wrongdoings.
When we accept and receive God’s boundless love and mercies, we know that we are forgiven then we can forgive ourselves and also extend God’s love we have received in our hearts and we can readily and freely forgive others.
Until you forgive yourself your life will be rooted in shame, remorse, guilt, and regret. Forgive yourself for the wrongs you’ve done to yourself and others. There is no limit to the depth of God’s love.
Search your heart; is there any hidden sin? Confess and forsake your old ways. Experience God’s forgiveness by receiving it by faith. After receiving God’s forgiveness; live in the consciousness that you are a new creature recreated in Christ Jesus, walking in the newness of life.
EXTENDING FORGIVENESS TO OTHERS
Forgiveness is what we all need. There is no single person on earth that does not need forgiveness and nobody that does not need to forgive others. Forgiveness is a vital necessity for mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom.
When you forgive, you are doing yourself a great service; when you don’t forgive you come under servitude. To be free from servitude (emotional, mental, and spiritual), you must always serve people with the choice of forgiveness. No matter the depth of the emotional wound, we can do ourselves a favor and offer forgiveness to our offender.
When forgiveness seems difficult, you can ask for God’s help. Release the offender from your heart into God’s hands; let God bring justice into your life and you will have your just recompense.
Forgive immediately, the longer you hold onto an offense, the longer it will hold you in bondage and the more difficult it will get for you to forgive.
CHOOSE THE LIFESTYLE OF FORGIVENESS
You will never be able to truly love until you are able to truly forgive. Forgiveness should be a way of life if you want to live your best. Daily ask God for forgiveness; learn to forgive yourself and be quick to ask others for forgiveness when you offend anyone and freely forgive others when you are wronged. Life can be beautiful when we extend mercy to others.
“It’s impossible to be negative when you are grateful. It’s impossible to criticize and blame when you’re grateful. It’s impossible to feel sad or have any negative feelings when you’re grateful. And the best news is that if you have any negative situations in your life currently, it won’t take a long period of time to transform them into gratitude. The negative situations will disappear in a puff of smoke-just like magic”
The feeling of gratitude is the key to abounding in every good thing in life. Gratitude is your access route to the path of increase. Until you count your blessings, you cut the flow of your blessings.
Gratitude is the feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Gratitude goes beyond the verbal expression of thankfulness to the feelings conveyed. Gratitude begins with focused thoughts on thankfulness for all your blessings and the positive things of life.
As you concentrate on your blessings and the positive things of life, your feelings become flooded with gratitude and as your feelings are immersed with gratitude it attracts more of such like blessings and positive people; events, and conditions of life. Gratitude can radically change every aspect of your life.
Let King David show us the path of gratitude:
“Bless (Affectionately, gratefully praise the Lord, O my soul and all that is (deepest) within me, bless His holy name.
Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise the Lord) O my soul and forget not (one of) all His benefits.
Who forgives (everyone one of) all your iniquities, Who heals (each one of) all your diseases.
Who redeems your life from the pit and corruption. Who beautifies, dignifies, and crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercy.
Who satisfies your mouth (your necessity and desire at your personal age and situation) with good so that your youth, renewed, is like the eagle’s (strong, overcoming, soaring).
-PSALM 103: 1-5
Gratitude is the outflow of thankfulness from the inflow of appreciation of your blessings. We tend to forget the benefits we’ve enjoyed in life when we take our blessings for granted by focusing on our troubles.
When you focus on your troubles, you will find travail. Until you live a life of gratitude your life will be grounded. When you take things for granted your life sticks with the label “complainer” which makes your life sink into negativity.
As we awake each morning, we should say “thank you God for the gift of life”. Let our hearts overflow with gratitude for the air we breathe. Let’s thank God that despite our mistakes and follies, He still loves us perfectly and forgives us, and has not rewarded us according to our misdoings and misgivings.
We must thank God for the gift of health; thank God for your heart; kidneys; eyes; mouth and indeed every part of your amazing body. Flood your heart with gratitude by focusing on God’s protection and preservation. Be full of thanks for His favors and goodness.
Develop a lifestyle of gratitude; before eating every meal give thanks; when someone offers you service no matter how little, give thanks to the person; in every situation you encounter look for the good and give thanks.
Let your heart overflow with thankfulness to the people that have made a difference in your life. Be thankful for your job; finances; relationships; and the good things of life.
We will never know the importance of a thing until we lose it. Never wait to lose your mind; health; house; family; job; relationships; or any part of the body before you become grateful for them.
Focus on what you have rather than on what you don’t have; focus on what you have left rather than on what you’ve lost. Becoming grateful even for the seemingly “little” things in life attracts great rewards.
This is the catch: fill your day with thankfulness to both God and people; Flood your feelings with gratitude for all your blessings-past, present, and future blessings and you will attract an increased harvest of blessings.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU
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About the Author
Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog: successrecipeblog.com, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.
She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.
At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars