We were designed to create and develop deep and satisfying relationships with people in our personal lives. The soul’s yearning is a deep connection of the heart to another wherein you can share your deepest thoughts and dreams with another. To feel safe is the desire for close personal relationships. To open up and reveal who you really are is the revealing trait of great relationships.

Being critical crushes the personal connection in your personal relationships. Honor and value is a safe environment that creates and develops deep connection in your personal relationships. In your personal relationships do you feel free to open up your inner self knowing that the other person will still accept; love and respect you as a person of value? Much more importantly, can you still honor and value another when you know revealing things about them, yet still love, value and accept them all the same? Do we constantly hide behind a mask and project a false image of who we really are? Do the people in our personal relationships erect a wall to protect themselves from us? Or do they build a bridge to connect with us freely and openly? Erecting a wall or hiding behind a mask is the stumbling block that stops the building up of deeply personal relationships.

To develop a deep connection in our personal relationships, we must create an enabling environment that makes it possible. We must respect the boundaries erected by people in our personal relationships. The essence of boundaries is to protect and preserve oneself. That presupposes that the person feels unsafe or threatened perhaps due to his or her past experience with us or with another. Never attempt to demolish the boundary rather attempt to create an environment of safety so that the people in our personal relationships can freely let down their guard and deal with you with complete openness. Trying to break the boundary implies trying to break the defense measure of the individual which will result in compound resistance.


Therefore, recognize and acknowledge the boundary while acting in the knowledge of creating an environment where the individual can feel completely safe with you and with time the individual will knock down the boundary and be bonded with you without resentment.



Timeless Gem

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About the Author


Udeme Archibong is a prolific writer, an astute communicator and a model of excellence. Her writings have made profound impact on thousands of lives around the world through her blog:, which has followings in over 70 countries in continents of the world.

She is a Self-Development Expert, who passionately works towards helping people maximize their destinies.

At some point, she was a motivational columnist, writing Success Recipe and Destiny Catalyst, for two Nigerian national newspapers, Vanguard and ThisDay, respectively. She is the initiator of the Revolution Series Seminars